Relationships can get boring if they stay perpetually on the same track.
When both of you expect the same activities, same foods, same conversations and so on, even the most committed may begin to look elsewhere for excitement. Keeping a relationship strong and happy, therefore, requires that both of you are fulfilled by one another and that you keep each other on your toes. Because of that, it's important for you to keep things feeling fresh, and as our wants and needs evolve, so should our relationships. That's why asking each other intimate, romantic, and thought-provoking questions can be a fun chance to bond, as well as check in with each other's visions for the future.
Psychologist and Certified Relationship Expert, Todd Baratz, suggested seven things that every couple should know about each other, in his recent Instagram post.
1. Childhood history
Early family relationships directly impact who we are for the rest of our lives. In fact, the only relationships that directly parallel each other are the ones we have with our original caregivers and our adult partners. The more you know about each other's history the better you can become at understanding triggers and navigating around or through conflict, and disconnection, and therefore the easier it becomes to create repair.
2. Relationship history
Couples should know about each other's relational history. This includes all important social, romantic, and sexual relationships. From what worker, what didn't work, and past challenges to lessons learned knowing each other's relational past is crucial when building a relational future.
3. Love references
Everyone has a variety of different preferences for how they like to give and receive love. And don't use broad categories like love language. Explicitly state the words, actions, and experiences you crave that define your closeness preferences. And keep in mind that these preferences may change depending on the context, time of day, and more. This information is what it means to anticipate needs and provide care.
4. Rational challenges
Be as open direct, and honest as possible when it comes to your challenges with each other. Go through a list of triggers, frustrations, disappointments, and any other challenges that have arisen in the past, present, or future. This isn't the time to revisit conflict and attempt to resolve it. It's about creating awareness, holding space, and normalizing the challenges that may create conflict.
5. Sexual desires, kinks and eroticism
Good sexual connections are built. If you want one you will have to understand who each other is sexual. That includes preferences for touch, fantasies, eroticism, kink and all other details that create a roadmap for each partner's desire. This conversation is both a verbal conversation and a show-and-tell activity where each partner literally gives directions. Keep in mind asking about turn-offs is just as important as turn-ons.
6. Internal world
We all have complex and exciting internal worlds. You know the random thoughts and responses to our day-to-day experience. Get in the habit of inviting each other inside by sharing your inner thoughts and feelings.
7. Dreams and future plans
Dreams and future plans. This is something to start sharing from day 1 without stopping. Share literal dreams when asleep. Share lofty and grandiose dreams for professional success. Share your 5, 10, 15, and 20-year plans. Share it all.